My daughter was in her sociology class last week when the subject turned to fostering and adoption. She was sitting there listening to the views of others when one boys opinion really annoyed her, it seemed that to him fostering and adoption is “pretend parenting.”
Well I’m certainly not going to argue with the viewpoint of a 15 year old because as we all know at this age they are always right, but I would ask him to think about this.
Is it pretend when I walk the bedroom floor for hours soothing a teething baby?
Is it pretend as I wait patiently and worryingly outside the hospital theatre’s door?
Is it pretend when I hold them tight when they wake from nightmares?
Is it make believe the pride I have in all their achievements?
The worry I feel when they are sick?
The missing I feel when they are not with me?
Is it pretend when my heart fills with love for them?
I don’t really expect most 15 year old’s to understand but so many times I come across adults who just don’t get the love I feel for my fostered children. They see them as a means to an end or just part of my job. In fact the current government seems to view fostering as second class parenting but that’s for another post.
It just drives me mad that people view it this way, as it’s so far from the truth.
You see the moment I open my home up to child I also open my heart to them.
Slowly we both get to learn about each other.
I get to watch them as they come to understand that this is their home too.
I want them to know they are so loved, that they are so cherished and that they are so wanted.
I want them to put their stamp on their bedroom, knowing that it is their’s for as long as they want it.
To sleep without fear of moving on or not being safe.
I want them to know that they are now part of the tribe, that no matter what they do there is no giving up.
We fight for family in this home.
We fight for dreams to be realised.
There is no pretend is this family, just pure real true love.
A families love.
Monday is the start of the Fostering Network’s Foster Care Fortnight. This years message is Time to Foster, Time to Care. They want to spread the message that for many prospective foster carers NOW is the time to care and NOW is the time to foster. Please go take a look over on the Fostering network’s website and if you have ever considered fostering now is the time to do it.
There are so many children out there waiting for families to reach past pretend and to embrace them in real family love.
Becoming a foster carer was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
It’s not always easy but it so worth it.