Capture those moments

My friend today shared a photo of Livvy and I today on her Facebook, its so lovely to see but it does really hit home of one of the greatest mistakes I made in Livvy’s life.

Not being in photographs with her.

You see I think I have three or maybe four photos of Livvy and I. My fear of being photographed actually has robbed me of precious memories of my darling girl.

How often do you find yourself saying “ I will take the photo” “Oh not with me, I’ve not done my hair, makeup.” I have an endless list of escape sentences that I now regret so much.

You see my daughters didn’t care how I looked they just wanted memories that I was visible in. I wouldn’t have cared how I looked to have images of me holding my precious girl, moments I could close my eyes and recapture in my mind.

Yet I cannot go back no matter how often I wish I could, but I can make changes and slowly I have been, pushing myself in front of the camera instead of behind.

Adopting Daniel and the level of his complexity has hit home again the fact that we are not promised forever and so I have made sure we all have precious memories to hold on too. So this is why for Mother’s Day this year I treated myself to a Mother and child photoshoot and its been one of the most amazing things I have done and honestly  I will cherish the images forever.

Choosing a photographer you trust is paramount especially if you are like me and are petrified of having your photo took. I went with Baby tree photography .

Liza is so amazing, we came across her when she photographed a friends christening and she is so lovely, she captured Daniel’s dedication in September and the characters of the guests were just so visible in her images and Daniel well is just completely gorgeous anyway.

I attended her studio a little nervous but within minutes I was relaxed and actually excited. I did wonder how Daniel would react to the day as he gets sensory overload and often just switches off in new environment but he was a complete star and honestly I think the images speak for themselves. I cannot thank Liza enough I look at the photos and my heart just beats with joy. The moment she captured will be a moment I get to forever cherish “A Mama and her son.”.

Honestly if I can challenge you all to do something this year it would be to capture those moments, don’t be like me wishing you had.

 

Happy International Women’s day

Todays is International women’s day a day when we celebrate the achievements of woman. A day where women are recognised for all they do.

To be honest part of me is frustrated that we need a women’s day or a men’s day, shouldn’t we be celebrating all people at all times regardless of their gender? Still it is nice to see the media full of amazing inspirational women whose gifts to the world should be recognised.

It is said that being a woman in today’s world is exciting and yes it is. Maybe we are heading for a society where the bar is starting to even out but we are still a long way off from equality . I do wonder if it is an easier time to be a woman? Societies expectations used be a woman should stay home, keep house and raise the babies and whilst that’s now classed as old fashioned have we really moved further along? I feel that this is still expected but now we are frowned upon if we don’t look amazing and also have a successful career as well.

One thing I find as a woman is that vulnerability seems to be shameful. To admit that I haven’t got all the answers, that I cannot be all things and that sometimes I screw up is a big no no.

It’s seems in the quest to be perceived as equal we have to be cool, calm and collected. All things I am not.

So does this make me less of a feminist? Less of a women striving for equality?

Erm no

Being a woman, being equal is being exactly who I want to be.

Society is trying hard to create illusions of who we should be, how we should look, what our place is in time, the roles we should play.

Well screw those stereotypical manipulative notions. I will be who I want to be.

I have and will continue to raise my daughters to know their own worth. To know their own minds and to walk their own journeys.

I want them to know that the end of the day only themselves can make them happy. No man or woman can fulfil them, their truth is their own.

I want to continue in my own self growth, finding out who I am not the roles I feel I have to play.

So to all your women out there today, Happy International Women’s Day you are all amazing, incredible people. Take this day as a celebration of who you are and all you have achieved. If there are things you want to change, start right now but more then anything remind yourself that self confidence, self acceptance and self love are not just wishy washy words they are what is needed to change the world, your world.

Love yourself, be vulnerable and find your truth.

Happy Women’s day, we rock xxx

17, baby girl

Time seems to be flying by quicker than ever. Life is threading through my fingers like water. I know my children have to grow up but I have to admit that the fact that my baby girl is seventeen today feels unreal.

My little wise owl, the girl who refused to wear trousers until she was eight is now on the verge of adulthood.

Brodie you have been a gift from the first moment you were born. you entered into our world at a time of confusion and you became my calm in the chaos.

The littlest of four girls your character was so unique, your smile was so amazing, dimples galore.

You were born with such a caring nature, loving on your sister when she needed, two peas in a pod. Nothing was ever too much for you where Livvy was concerned.

Nothing has changed, your arms opened to Daniel, your heart full of love for him. His smile when he sees you says it all.

Brodie Lea, I don’t mean to be embarrassing but I cannot let a chance to go by too remind you how incredible you are. How beautiful you are and how much we love you.

We love you to the moon, stars and back again.

Happy birthday  my sweet baby girl xxxx