Magic in the moments 

Wow I cannot believe it’s Christmas Eve already. I’m quite sure someone came to me in my sleep and stole away the last few months. It truly only feels like it’s September and that the kids have just gone back to school. 

It’s a stark reminder how quick life can pass you by. How easy it is to get caught up in the stresses and chaos of life that you actually forget to live.

Over the last few weeks a couple of my friends have faced the ultimate pain of losing those they love. Watching them walk this painful pathway has made me think a lot about the way I’m allowing life stress me out. How I’m forgetting that each day is a gift that needs to be lived.

Livvy taught me about the “magic of the moment” but I think that somehow without her to remind me I’ve lost this a little. 

My life is going to be busy in 2016, along with my family, my Universty course I have also become active in my local Labour branch. All these things are important to me and will require my time and energy. Yet I also have to remind myself to focus on the magic of the moment. 

So as I wish you all a Merry Christmas I also ask you to join with me and as we head towards the new year looking forward with a sense of anticipation. 

Be excited for all that’s to come but also remember to carefully find your magic in the moments. 

Laugh until your sides ache.

Cry until you hiccup

And love with all your heart.

Find the magic in the moments, create those memories and make each day count.

Merry Christmas to you all xxxx

Life is a unique journey.

One incredible thing about life is that no two humans will experience the same one. Those with shared experiences will have these but their emotions and how the moments made them feel will be unique only to them.

Grief especially is like this, two people can walk a similar pathway but their emotional journey is their own.

Take my husband and I for example, we both lost Olivia but the way we have coped with it is very different. I am completely open with my pain where Alan tends to internalise it. We are both grieving but just differently and that’s ok. It’s our individuality that defines us. Our life experiences have created our own unique way of moving through life, our own way of coping, our own ability to survive.

I actually find this whole thing so interesting, some say that even in the womb we are being defined by life experiences, by the sounds we hear, by the feelings we feel, the stress chemicals we receive. John Bowlby would tell us that it’s the interactions we have with others that builds our inner working model, our individual way of viewing the world.

So it isn’t surprising that the way we experience life is different.

Just look at humour for an example how many times have you found yourself laughing out loud over a joke only to find others looking at you strangely as if to say, “that’s so not funny”. Or you have cried at a film only to find others unmoved.

We are all different, unique, emotional creatures.

So whilst this uniqueness is something to be embraced it is also something to remember when dealing with others, especially where grief is concerned.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. 

You simply have to do what you need to do to survive.

I’m actually writing this for myself right now.

Giving myself the reminder that I cannot expect others to understand my journey. My pathway is my own and only I can walk it.

Right now this post is my mirror on the wall and I’m telling myself to calm down and breathe.

People mean well and some just don’t get it and that’s ok and that is what makes them unique.

The way I feel right now, the things I feel that’s my emotional road to travel and that’s perfectly OK.


Life is unique


Christmas style for the family.

Like most people, I find that around this time of year I really have to watch my budget.

My bank account looks a little empty after purchasing our Christmas gifts and food. Yet this doesn’t stop me from wanting to wear something new and special for the season.

This is why I love the George range at Asda, they offer stylish outfits for a reasonable price, they also cater for all the family. One stop shopping my idea of heaven.

Here are some of my favourites…..


I love this Embellished Jumpsuit and at only £20 its simply wow, perfect for nights out, Christmas lunch and so much more.



My second choice is  this Embellished beaded dress it’s just stunning at £40 this is the most expensive of my choices but I could see me wearing this many times and certainly getting my money’s worth.



My third choice is for my daughter, I’m sure she would love this Stolen Heart Floral Lace Skater dress, I could just see her wearing this with her converse.



George Asda also do an fantastic range for men and if I was dressing my hubby this Christmas it would be in this Tailor & Cutter Shirt and Tie set. I just adore the colour of this set, perfect for Christmas and any special occasion after. It would also be a great gift for the business man in your life.


I would team this shirt with some Straight Leg Chinos


This outfit would be the perfect mix between smart and casual which my husband would love.


Last but not least I would dress my foster son in this shirt and tie set paired with some tapered jeans.




This outfit is just perfect for him as young man who is finding his own individual style.


I am seriously impressed with the ranges George at ASDA offers it has something for everyone, all shapes and sizes, go check them out especially their gorgeous dresses. 







• This post is sponsored but all opinions are my own and I do truly recommend the range.







The road I really wish I could take

So as we head towards Christmas I am finding myself at a familiar crossroads.

Which way do I turn, which road do I take?

You see since the death of my daughter in November 2008 Christmas has just never been the same. The traditions we had started to help her cope with the busyness of the season seem redundant without her.

The laughter that followed from her joy of the annoying singing Santa is lost. The Santa just sings and yes he is still as annoying but it’s so not funny anymore.

How I miss the joy she breathed into the season.

How the commercialism of Christmas never touched her, just pure love and laughter.

Oh how I miss her.

road that leads me

So back to the crossroads, back to choosing the way to turn.

I’m struggling to be as I know she would want to me to be. Full of the love and laughter Livvy would cherish.

Taking the road full of Christmas cheer.

Yet to be truthful the road of sadness is calling to me loudly.

The turning of missing is the path my internal SatNav wants to travel.

Wishing for the Christmas’s past when my heart was whole. When my girls numbered four and when life made sense.

It’s so hard,

Sometimes I just want to allow myself to stay in my grief to follow the endless miles of hopelessness.

Yet I know I cannot.

How could I honour the one who brought me joy by only sharing sadness.

I will smile, I will laugh, I will make new traditions. I will celebrate the season as it should be,

but between you and I it’s not the same and it never will be.

The season is like my heart, missing  a very special piece.

My missing piece

Christmas party fashion wishlist

So it is that time of year again when we all start getting excited about the party season. The biggest question always being what shall we drink  wear.

I’ve been having a browse at the season’s fashions and here are my picks for my Christmas party fashion.

It is said you cannot go wrong with a little black dress and my first choice is simply that, a beautiful lace panel dress from Evans. Perfect to glam up for an evening event but also ideal for Christmas day itself.



My second choice again is a black dress but not so little its a stunning Sheer hem maxi from Simply Be. I am in love with this dress. It calls out to my gothic heart.



My 3rd and 4th choice’s aren’t dresses but two tops that I would probably wear with my black  jeans, this is my perfect type of party wear.

This super cute black sequin vest from Evans is just the perfect amount of sparkle.


Also this Live unlimited black sequin top again from Evans. I am seriously impressed with this range but this is my favourite.



So as you can see my favourite colour may just be black.

Santa if you want to send any of these my way I would promise to be a good girl.