No means no

It’s not new for me to find myself p*ssed off at some tripe spoken by someone in the public eye.

Be it the fat hating Katie bitch Hopkins or the disability hating spew of Ian Duncan Smith . You can guarantee that someone will annoy me I am rather passionate that way.

But to be fair I do believe in the freedom of speech and I accept that even idiots get voice boxes, but when singer Chrissie Hynde suggested it can be a woman’s fault that they are raped I have to shout out, what the hell.

Seriously in this century and in this society we shouldn’t have to face such ignorance as this. 

Women have the right to wear whatever they wish without the fear of rape.

Also this isn’t just a women’s perspective I have spoken to many men that feel this way. Men who hate to be portrayed as creatures than cannot control themselves when faced with a mini skirt and high heels.

“Lucy Hastings, director of Victim Support, said: “Victims of sexual violence should never feel or be made to feel that they were responsible for the appalling crime they suffered – regardless of circumstances or factors which may have made them particularly vulnerable.

“They should not blame themselves or be blamed for failing to prevent an attack – often they will have been targeted by predatory offenders who are responsible for their actions.”

Chrissie Hynde seriously, you state that you feel responsible for the sexual assault you suffered. 

No and No

The only person responsible for sexual assault is the one doing the assaulting.

I don’t care if a woman walks around in underwear or naked this does not in any way make them less of a victim.

No means no.

I wouldn’t mind if the statistics actually matched up with this theory but they don’t. Sexual assault happens to all, polo necks or G-Strings. 

It happens in marriages, workplaces and it also happens to men as well. 

Over 90% of rape victims know their perpetrator.

I’m sorry Chrissie Hyde but my respect for you has just left the building. Comments like yours lead woman rights back in to the dark ages.

Would you ever say to a male rape victim he is to blame because his jeans were too tight? 

I am furious right now and I am appalled that all those who have suffered such assaults have to deal with ignorant comments like this.

I respect woman and I respect the rights of woman to wear whatever they want, when they want. 

A tight miniskirt isn’t an invitation to be raped.

High heels, crop tops don’t say yes please.

Sex should always be consenting if it isn’t it’s assault.

It doesn’t make any difference what you are wearing or what you aren’t.  

No means no. 

If you are a victim of a sexual assault please speak to someone who can help and support you.

    

http://rapecrisis.org.uk

  

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk

I’m going to believe in unicorns 

I wasn’t going to write on the Ashley Madison site leak because seriously if you cheat and get caught well then it’s hard shit really. I don’t feel one ounce of pity for the cheater but so much for the spouses whose worlds may have just been torn apart.

Yet after reading post after post and comment and after comment about it I am so tired of peoples sanctimonious attitudes.

Firstly YES adultery is vile it’s one of the lowest things you can do, betraying the person you promised to share your life with.  But those who are condemning others please stay quiet. Are you really that perfect yourself? 

So adultery isn’t your sin of choice but are you really that innocent.? 

We are so quick in this world to condemn others. You only have read the comments on the refugee crisis. Of course everyone trying to flee war, terror and poverty are doing so just to claim benefits here. 

What a load of  

 

Honestly there is no doubt that in this world there are some shitbags and yes most of them are on the Ashley Madison site but do we really have to been a society that condemns?

I want to see more statuses and more posts about the spouses that are broken-hearted, about sending love to ease their hearts. 

I want to read statuses about the fact that you realise that refugees aren’t to blame for this countries financial issues.

Secondly the truth is this world will always be full of hate and deceitful people but let’s stop giving them space in our world.

Let’s ignore the bad and focus on the good.

Let’s fill our online space with stories full of hope and kindness.

Because no matter how much the worlds media tries to convince me otherwise I believe that this world is full of more good than evil. 

Full of kind, caring, truthful people.

I have to believe this. 

I going to believe in a world full of unicorns and rainbows. 

  
Why not?

I believe in hope…

  

Naked; you been warned

After walking round another shop that doesn’t stock any clothes in my size I actually want to scream. From the sideward smirk from one of the assistants to the pity half smile from the other, enough is enough.

It’s time the high street realises that the fashion conscience come in all shapes and sizes. That my plus size body wants to look good and I also want to try my clothes on in a store.

I want to have fun days out with my girlfriends, giggling as we try on dresses for the works party. Not to have to wait in for delivery, I want to browse the stores just looking for that must have top, that I need pair of jeans. 

Fashion for the size 16+ is improving with more designers hitting the market but the high street is not keeping up. With shops like New Look moving their inspire range online and out of their stores it’s not really making a dramatic impact for us voluptuous ladies. It certainly isn’t making clothes shopping universal for all.

Regardless of the naive believe that plus size clothes encourage obesity my plus size body still needs to be clothed. 

I have no issues walking the high street naked but I’m sure there are actually laws against it.

It’s about time high street retailers release that fashion conscious plus size women want to shop. We want to feel the materials, enter the dressing rooms with numerous clothes we may not buy. We want the same opportunities afforded to others. 

Why shouldn’t we our money holds the same value.

Times need to change and they need to do so quickly. Or maybe one day soon in your local high street you may find yourself faced with a group of naked plus size women.

My Special week

So I’ve just returned from what I often describe as the best week of the year Special kids in the UK camp. The week where one field becomes full with family.

I believe this year for me personally has been the best year ever. 

I pushed my own personal boundaries and chatted to more people than ever and have made some amazing new friends thanks to this.

The camp site we stay on is called Lower Lacon and I can say beyond any doubt that it’s one of the best sites anywhere. They go beyond anything for us all and really make the whole group feel welcome. The facilities are fantastic and always spotlessly clean. 

It was certainly a busy camp with everything from adult colouring sessions to a kids magician.

My personal favourite time is always the Special Kids in the UK Olympics. There is nothing better than seeing the determination on the faces of the children as they line up to race. The wobbly walkers, manual wheelchairs and so many more. You can only imagine the intensity of the men’s race, I’m sure there is year round training for this one. 

Seriously I love this afternoon it just sums up Special kids in the UK for me. Its not about being inclusive, it’s that for one week of a year there are no differences, there are no boundaries. No one looks at what our children can’t do it’s always about what they can.  

Alan getting broody over the youngest member of our special kids family.

This year I finally managed to watch the Ugly bug ball, The annual fancy dress competition. Again I think this year topped all previous ones. With the special guest appearance from the Spice girls, though to be honest I think Old Spices would be a better description.

Truly how amazing are they!
  

  

Add to these Miley Cyrus, a ninja and the cast of Narnia it was an awesome night.

One of the most poignant times of each camp is the balloon release. Seeing the sky filled with colour in honour of those who have gone too soon both breaks and blesses my heart. I was invited to speak before the release but emotion got the better of me. I wanted to honour all those missing but my heart was just broken. One family from our special kids family had laid their beautiful girl to rest last week. My heart just ached for the pain i know they are facing. My words just spilled into tears. Grief holds a rawness like no other. 

I love this camp, it’s a week where memories are created that will last a lifetime. I love that I get to share stories of Livvy with people who remember with me. At this camp I am always a mom to four girls and I am so incredibly grateful for this. 

Livvy is remembered so much on this camp and not just because her name hangs on the tea tent that we sponsor each year but also because we hold our annual Livvy’s Smile tea party. So many cakes, so many smiles no better way to remember my beautiful girl. Check out the hashtag #makingmemorieswithLivvyssmile on social media sites to see the memories we have created, Facebook especially.
  

All in all it was an amazing week, yes I was glad to return home to my bed but I was sad to leave this field. 
I want to say a big thank you to Lower Lacon for their wonderful welcome. It seriously is a fantastic camp site and I highly recommend it.

  

I have especially loved watching my youngest daughter flourish. She became a little like the Pied piper this week always surrounded by children. It certainly makes sense that she wants to work with children with special needs later on in life. I’ve pinched this photo from her Facebook cover. How special is this?

 

 

I want to say thank you to the trustees for arranging an awesome week.

A massive thank you to the BBQ team for their constant effort at keeping us all fed. I didn’t realise how much you actually do each week until I camped behind you. Twice a day, every day you were there working hard and for that and the yummy curry I am truly grateful. You guys rock. 

Special kids in the UK is an amazing charity from the forum to the meet ups it’s a wonderful place for parents and carers of children with disabilities to get support. 

This camping week whilst a highlight of the charity is only a part of what it offers. I cant actually remember how long I have been part of this charity but I’m sure it’s been over 10 years. 

If you are a parent or a carer of a child with special needs check out the website and the forum. Honestly you won’t find a bigger welcome anywhere. 

It’s more than a charity it’s a family.


My Special kids in the UK family.

I went to Kingswood Camps – written by Brodie

A few weeks ago my mom told she had entered me into a competition called “Born to be brave” being run by Kingswood camps.

I was really excited just be entered so when I won I was shocked.

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After looking on the website at all the amazing camps Kingswood offer I decided to attend Colomendy on a multi skills week.

Arriving at Colomendy I was nervous but the staff made me feel at ease straight away. We were shown quickly our rooms which were clean and we actually had cleaners through the week. Wish I could have brought them home they would stop my mom nagging at me about my bedroom.

Once all campers arrived we had a big meeting about the rules of camp and how to keep ourselves safe. Then we went off on a scavenger hunt.

This was the start of an action packed week where I conquered many of my fears.

I thought I was scared of heights until I found myself on the giant zip wire and on the abseiling tower.

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I knew I was scared of tight places but thanks to the support of the staff I conquered my fears and when underground caving.

My favourite activity has to be the raft building as I had so much fun even though I got very wet.

I highly recommend Kingswood camps to anyone, I had so much fun and barely used my mobile phone and as you know for a 14 year old that’s pretty amazing.

Kingswood challenges you in so many ways and  I am so grateful for the opportunity.

My time at Kingswood camp Colmendy will stay with me forever.

I have had some incredible experiences and made some wonderful new friends.
In fact I loved it so much that I really want to return next year.

 

Thank you Kingswood camps 

 

Brodie xxx

Three Fish – Newport

There are reviews and there are awesome reviews and where food is concerned I am in my element.

So when asked to go visit the newly refurnished Three Fish Beefeater restaurant in Newport I wasn’t going to say no.

We have visited Beefeaters in the past and enjoyed wonderful steaks so this was just up our street.

The Three Fish is a lovely restaurant and was easy to find and park. Its on site with a premier inn if you fancied staying the night. The surrounding area is beautiful so well worth a visit.

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We all had started with Brodie and I choosing the crunchy chicken wings in BBQ sauce whilst Alan had the garlic prawns. Both Brodie and I enjoyed our wings, Brodie so much that we had to tell her to stop sucking the bones, (seriously it was as if we had never fed her). Alan enjoyed his garlic prawns but would have prefered a little more garlic but he does say that about everything.

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For our mains Alan and I both choose steak, I had the rib eye and Alan had the fillet. Brodie ordered the chicken and ribs. We all enjoyed our meals, Alan was a little disappointed as his steak was a little fatty not something you would expect really from a fillet.

Chicken and ribssteak

For pudding Alan polished off an Eton Mess Sundae and Brodie the Cookie dough one. I was a little more reserved and just had a coffee.

Cookie doughEton mess

The restaurant is beautiful furnished and lovely to eat in.

Our only complaints was the wait for the starters  as it was a lot longer than we expected and didn’t go well with the boy but once the food came he did calm down loads. He enjoyed the three course kids meal which he absolutly loved.

The staff were pleasant but a little scarce.

If there was maybe more staff and quicker meal times it would have been perfect.

All in all we had a lovely family and do think Three Fish Beefeater is well worth a visit.

 

 

 

*We were gifted with vouchers towards this meal but all views and opinions are my own.

Playground Antics in the race for the Labour leadership.

Reading the news the last few days has really made me question my loyalty to the Labour Party.  The inner bitching between the MP’s is reminding me of school playground antics.

Labour party

It seems that if Jeremy Corbyn wins the Labour leadership a number of MPs are threatening to overthrow him and are now trying to damage his credibility.  With interviews from that compulsive liar better know as Tony Blair and other false stories I am totally shocked at the behaviour of these so called servants of the public.

Tell me how they can behave this way?

Firstly they are the voice of the public and secondly they should believe in democracy!

Jeremy Corbyn has ignited a passion back into politics that has been missing for a very long time.  After the austerity nightmare from the Conservatives he is giving people hope. It has been a long time since we have seen such interest in politics.

His policies make sense and they certainly aren’t just sound bites.

He knows how to turn this country around and he has the grit and determination to do just that.

I will be voting for Jeremy Corbyn and I’m proud to do so.

Jeremy Corbyn for Labour leader

 

If he does win the leadership election I want to see the Labour Party behave and unite under his leadership.  The undercutting and party warfare helped the Conservatives to victory this year lets not make the same mistake in 2020.

Let’s make the Labour Party something we can be proud.

  • Equality in all fields.
  • The empowerment of the younger generation.
  • Education accessible for all.
  • Protecting the vulnerable.

The Labour Party can and will be again known for its vision.

  • Supporting the NHS,
  • Supporting business and industry.

This can all happen if Labour MPs respect the wishes of their members and unite behind whoever is voted as their leader.

The opposition is the conservatives and this should not be forgotten.

I am excited for the future of the Labour party and hope that inner fighting stops and the party comes together.

I trust that the MP’s of the Labour party will remind themselves that they represent their members and will put their personal agenda’s aside and support whoever is voted as leader.

I will be voting for Jeremy Corbyn because I believe in him, I admire all that he stands for.

I truly believe that he is the leader the Labour party needs.

Jeremy Corbyn for leader

Weekend wish list

I haven’t done a wish list in a while but with the new autumn fashion hitting the stores I am simply spoiled for choice. 

Here are a few of my favourites.

First off is this Longer Length Utility Shirt from Simply Be. This is bang on trend with the military style which everywhere this season. I just think it’s classy and I so love this gorgeous slate blue. 

  

Secondly I love these ripped jeans from Evans.  I am a great believer that you can never have enough pairs of ripped jeans and I would love to add these to my wardrobe. 
  
Third on my list is a dress a little out of my comfort zone but after checking out the Lindy Bop range on the suggestion of a friend I just fell in love with the Colleen isn’t she beautiful?

  
Finally I have been on the search for a pair of cute comfortable shoes. I think I have found them in the Michelle by Hotter shoes. I suffer with a lot of pain from my joints but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to wear cute shoes. These seem the best of both worlds as they come in a wide fit, woo hoo. They are seriously cute. 

  

Well that’s my weekend wish list… Anything catch your eye??

Telephone in heaven 

I came across a video of a old country song last night called “Telephone in heaven” 

After I finally stopped sobbing and pulled myself together I began to think about who I would call if there was a telephone to heaven.

Of course the first person on my dialling list would be my beautiful Olivia. How I would love to hear her giggle once more. I can barely remember the sound of her voice and this breaks my heart so desperately.

I wouldn’t know what to ask, I mean where would you start? So many things that I would want to say, I know she knows I love her ; but to get to say it to her one more time,if only. I want to know she is free from pain, that she is surrounded by loved ones. Things I’m sure of but would still love to be confirmed.

  
  

  
 

The second on my list would be be Grandad. This man was and still is my hero. Only now after raising my own children do I really realise what an incredible man he was. So patient, so true. I would want to know if I have made him proud, is he is looking after my Livvy? I miss his wise words and what I would give for the chance to take counsel from him once again. I miss just spending time with him talking about life, people and everything. 

My third and fourth would be my nan and my other grandad. Both such special people that blessed my life. I would just love to check in and hear their voices.

Fifth would have to be a dear friend that left us way too soon. I would want to know that he is ok and that his demons don’t haunt him anymore.
I know this is crazy and I also know that the reality of this would be so different. I mean if I could speak to Livvy by telephone would I ever really be able to replace the handset again

I don’t think I could, talking to her would consume me.

Maybe that’s it, the acceptance stage of my grief. Am I finally coming to this stage in the circle of my life.
I’m not sure, what I do know is that I do talk to my beautiful girl, my grandads, my nan and all those that have gone before me each day. I share the days, my news and my tears with them all.

But still the concept of a telephone to heaven is on my heart today. Is crazy and its wishful.

  
 

If you had a telephone to heaven, who would you all today?