Turning the page

I’m not quite sure I can find the words to describe my feelings from this last Saturday.

It’s quite ironic really as it was my words which brought me to such a magical moment.

You see a few months ago I came across an email asking for pieces to be submitted into a writing competition called Turning the Page.

The writing was to be a piece sharing your positive experiences of disability.

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Now I love to write as you already know and I’m a passionate advocate for disability awareness so this seemed a perfect opportunity to do both.

 

Yet entering my words into a competition was a little scary. Asking others to judge my heart.

Yet with Livvy as my subject matter the words came freely.

 

The competition was being run by Irwin Mitchell in conjunction and support of the charity KIDS a fantastic organisation which works with disabled children, young people and their families.

 

The idea was to raise awareness about disability from the ones who live with it.

 

Well I’m glad I found the courage to submit my piece as I was awarded joint winner in the 18+ category.

 

How amazing was that and on Saturday my family and I got to attend a special event at The Globe Theatre in London.

The whole event was truly wonderful. The welcome was warm, the food divine and the venue beautiful.

The Globe theatre is a an incredible place to visit. You feel such awe as you stand inside.

It fact awe was really the emotion of the day as I was truly spoiled. Besides my wonderful prize of a Kindle which I had already received. I was presented with a lovely framed copy of my writing and also an original drawing from the artist Louise Marshall.

TTP Presentation

 

This talented lady had taken the winners writings and created beautiful illustrations in interpretation of the words. I was shocked at how amazing the artwork was and I certainly loved mine.

Add to this a beautiful bouquet of flowers I was one happy lady.

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It was wonderful to listen to staff from Irwin Mitchell and KIDS and to hear their desire to raise awareness for disability. Their passion was evident.

I had a wonderful time and the highlight was definitely seeing my work published. Holding a copy of a book which had my heart inside was overwhelming. Knowing that I got to share my beautiful daughter with people meant more than words could describe.

TTP Brodie & I

The book is a compilation of the entries. It is being sold to raise funds for KIDS and can be purchased right now from the website.

I hope they sell many copies of Turning the Page not just because the funds are so needed. But because I believe that the writings in the book are truly insightful. A little visit into the world of disability.

I am still on cloud nine after such an amazing day. I am so grateful for all the staff that worked so hard to make the day so wonderful an would like to give a special shout out to Michelle from Irwin Mitchell who in the words of my youngest “is a lovely lady”.

Turning the Page is the title of the book and to be honest this whole experience has been a page turner for me. It has really given a much needed boost of confidence.

It also had given my heart a much needed lift.

I got to share my girlie with others.

Her memory lives on.

 

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.

Thomas Campbell

 

Thank you Irwin Mitchell and KIDS for a fantastic day.

Thank you Livvy for being my inspiration.

 

Birthday weekend

My baby turned 18 this weekend and to be honest I am still not ready to accept it.

It was weird actually knowing that my baby was out nightclubbing.

Having a few drinks and generally being a grown up.

I can see things are really going to change this year.

Late nights waiting up will turn in long goodbyes as she heads to university (fingers crossed).

Anyway right now I am just grateful that she had a wonderful coming of age weekend.

From nights of clubbing with friends to a family meal she was totally spoiled and thats the way it should be.

Hey you are only 18 once.

18th

Blogging should be fun not frightening

Sometimes I find myself sitting at the keyboard completely blank.

Its as if my words have just disappeared.

I want to write words that are wise and full of wisdom.

Yet I am far from wise and as for wisdom, heck i don’t even have wisdom teeth.

When did blogging become frightening for me?

When did i start to feel pressured by my own words?

I wonder if the influx of bloggers has made me more aware of my own writing.

To be honest I haven’t got a clue.

What i do know is that its time I got over myself.

When I started this blog i wrote because I simply loved it.

I wanted to share my life and experiences.

It didn’t matter if anyone actually read it.

My words were simply for me.

So this is where I need to get back to.

Finding my freedom in my words.

Blogging should be fun.

Not frightening.

 

Dear Kennedy

Dear Kennedy

My dearest first born I can’t believe that you are turning 18 today,

My beautiful girl is now an adult.

How scary is that?

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Yet while I am so proud of the woman you have become I would love to go back to the beginning and raise you all over again.

To the hourly feeds and nightly cuddles.

To the waking up to find you in our bed all snuggled up with your teddy beside you.

To the pretty dresses and impromptu dances in the street.

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The memories you have given me are beautifully wrapped up in my heart.

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Wow Kennedy this year is going to be a year of changes.

The big wide world awaits you as you head off to university later this year.

Following your dreams of becoming a teacher.

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I joke about how quiet the house will be but really I already ache for the missing that will come with your leaving.

Yet I am so excited for the adventures you are to have.

The friends you will meet, the things you will learn. 

The world is simply your oyster but never forget you are and always will be my precious pearl.

This will be a time of change and i accept that.

It’s hard to let go but remember wherever you go, whatever you need I will be here.

Being your mom doesn’t end when you become and adult.

My arms will always be open wide for you.

My heart full of love and fear for your future.

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I know at times we have clashed.

In fact at times you have drove me mad, but know this.

I so admire your drive and determination.

You have one of the strongest wills I know.

Stubborn as mule comes to mind. 

Stay strong but never forget it takes true courage to open your heart.

Love and laugh 

Be crazy and make those special memories.

Be brave and daring.

Be you 

Because you are simply the best daughter a mom could ever ask for. 

                 “Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.” — Robert Browning

This says it all. 

Happy 18th to my amazing daughter.

I love you with all my heart.

Infinity x infinity 

Love you sweet baby girl to the moon stars and back again.

happy 18th kennedy

Supermarket tears

I was just placing the baby wipes in the trolley when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned to find an elderly lady standing beside me just looking at the portrait of Olivia on my shoulder.

“She looks like you” she said.
I smiled

“Who is it” the lady asked.

“My late daughter” I replied.

There again was that awkward silence when people stay quiet not sure what to say.

“She was beautiful”

“I’m so sorry”.

There in the supermarket aisle this little old ladies eyes filled with tears.

“I’m so sorry”.

I don’t know what to say at moments like this.

“It’s ok” isn’t how I feel. Yet a stranger doesn’t really need to know the pain of my heart.

It’s not the place to tell her that I still cry myself to sleep at night.

That everything reminds me of her.

No it’s not the place.

So I smile a little and say

“We were so blessed”.

At this the lady holds my hand and squeezes it a little.

I don’t know that lady and I’m sure we won’t meet again but that squeeze meant so much.

She didn’t try to say it would be ok.

She didn’t offer me any platitudes

She just offered me love.

No questions need no answers

But the acknowledgment just blessed my heart.

I don’t think there is a right thing to say to a grieving mother.

But the acknowledgement of the loss means so very much.

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Happy Fathers Day

Today is Father’s Day the day where we celebrate the men who have raised us and those who help us raise our children.

I hit the jackpot in both these situations.

I have an amazing dad who means more to me than I think he actually knows.

Although he didn’t actual raise me he did inspire me in so many ways.

He has worked so hard to make a good life for himself.

Trying hard and setting a great example. 

My dad is also the best Grandad a girl could ask for.

He idolises his grandchildren those of blood and those of love.

From the moment my girls entered this world they knew their Grandad loved them. 

I love watching them all together.

They have him completely wrapped around their fingers.

From school concerts to exam results he encourages and supports them continually and I know they appreciate that so much.

I also know he misses one little girl so desperately at times that the pain is sometimes etched on his face.

Dad I do wish we had more moments from my childhood to share. 

But as I have become an adult you have been there for me at every moment.

You have listened when I have struggled and held me when I have cried. 

You are an amazing dad and an fantastic Grandad. 

I Love you so much.

Then there is my husband Alan the father of my four girls and foster daddy to our foster son. 

Alan You rock. 

Never could I have wished for a better father for my children than you.

From the moment we found out we were expecting your priority has been your children. 

You work so hard to provide for them and I love your wish to give them the world.

From night time feeds to vomit filled beds you have done it all.

You are one of the reasons I love being a mom, because I get to raise them alongside you.

My children and I are so very lucky to have these two amazing men in our lives.

So from me and the tribe.

Happy fathers dad 

Xxxxx

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What to get for father’s day?

With Father’s Day on Sunday the girls are asking their dad what they can get him.

 

His answer of “anything” isn’t helping.

 

What do you get your dad on this special day?

 

Thankfully Dove has some good ideas.

 

With their Dove Men + care range you can treat your dad to a fantastic gift set.

 

Dove Men + care range are experts on Man Maintenance and have gifts sets to suit his skin and lifestyle.

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Add to the gift of a bottle of Radox and the promise of an hour piece and quiet in the bath and you will have one truly happy dad.

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I know Alan will appreciate these gifts.

They are available at most chemists and supermarkets.

Father’s day is a time where we can celebrate all our dad’s do for us.

 

So often dad’s are forgotten by many, especially the media yet Dad’s play an massive role in the wellbeing of their children.

 

I am so blessed, I have an amazing dad and an equally amazing husband.

 

So I am happy that this sunday I get to say thank you to my dad and my husband for being the best dad’s anyone could ask for.

Lets celebrate our dads and the roles they play in our lives and our children’s lives.

 

# We were given these items for the purpose of a review. All opinions are honest and my own.

So how should you live life?

Don’t have expectations that way you won’t be disappointed.

This is what I was told.

If you don’t get excited you won’t be let down.

In a world of let downs.

Its best to protect yourself.

 

But I can’t help myself.

I always get caught up in the excitement.

The anticipation

The hope.

Higher and higher I go.

 

Sometimes all is good and I get to fly.

Others I hit the deck hard.

 

So how should you live life?

Should we allow ourselves to be caught it the moment?

Or should we stay grounded so we don’t fall.

This is what my mind is pondering right now.

Yet a piece of poetry keeps rolling about in my mind.

 

    I hold it true, whate’er befall;

    I feel it, when I sorrow most;

    ‘Tis better to have loved and lost

    Than never to have loved at all.

 

Lord Tennyson. 

 

 

I guess I’ve answered my own question.

 

I married the Mr Men

I could have lost it right there and then.

He was asking me the same question he had asked only moments ago.

Doesn’t he realise how busy I am?

How much I have to do?

Can he not see I’m drowning?

No he wants to weigh me down to the bottom.

Marriage 

It’s not easy.

I’m tired of seeing photos of happy couples.

The perfect moment.

The romantic gestures

The whispered sweet nothings.

I get the Mr Men

Mr forgetful

Mr Grumpy 

And lets not forget

Mr Sleepy

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Marriage that wonderful thing you enter in with dreams and hopes.

Then you realise it takes work.

Hard work. 

 

[Tweet ““A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” -Dave Meurer “]

 

My husband drives me insane.

He forgets so many things and goes off target at all times.

Yet he leaves me sleeping and gets the children to school. 

He falls asleep in company or totally misses the point.

Yet he cleans my kitchen so I can bake.

[Tweet “Marriage is two people living as one. “]

Two different hearts, dreams and inspirations.

It’s far from easy but it’s worth it.

It’s not about those picture perfect moments (though they would be nice now and again).

It’s about the one who sends you to bed when you feel ill.

The one who stays so strong when you fall apart.

It’s not about grand gestures.

It’s about the one who brings you coffee when you are buried deep In a assignment.

The one who paints the living room before your ladies event.

[Tweet “The one who believes in you when you don’t believe in yourself.”]

 

I am far from the perfect wife.

He is not the perfect husband

[Tweet “But we are the perfect pair.”]

[Tweet ““Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” -Franklin P. Jones “]

 

 

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