Being a parent isn’t easy. Yes you can buy books that guide you through conception to adulthood. Yet they don’t prepare you for the emotional impact of parenthood.
From the first moment you see this precious little thing you are determined to protect from all evil. To cherish and love with all your heart.
Fast forward 13 years that cute adorable bundle of love is screaming at you. Shouting that you are determined to ruin their lives. The question i ask myself daily is where did I go wrong?
Others have their opinions, my mom tells me I spoil them to much. My husband tells me I do to much for them. My mother in law tries to convince me all teenagers are like this.
Maybe they are all right.
I know I spoil them, I grew up with little I wanted them to have so much more.
Yes I do way to much for them, again I didn’t want them to have responsibilities like I had.
Yes teenagers are stroppy and moody it’s the influx of hormones that invade their bodies.
But the truth is my girls, my teenagers aren’t the one with the problem ( well maybe a few). I am.
When my daughter screams she hates me. My heart breaks, I take her words as gospel. I don’t see the teenage angst I just see she hates me.
I wait patiently at times for me to screw up. I accept that’s who I am.
It’s pathetic I know, I guess we would have to dig back to those childhood times to find the source of my issues but the truth is I am who I am.
And I really need to get over myself.
I need to accept perfection in motherhood is a myth. Maybe I have spoilt them, indulged them but one thing I do know is that I loved them with all my heart.
There does come a time when you have to step back at let them make their own mistakes. You cannot protect them from the lessons of life no matter how much you want to.
There is going to be times when my daughters hate me but I know there will be more times that they will love me.